On Monday I wrote about admitting I have a problem with depression and today I am trying to find ways to work through my feelings and understand what I need to do to overcome my highs and lows. I have realized that depression doesn’t always equal total sadness, it usually ends up that way but there are a whole slew of other emotions that come with depression – at least there were for me. Anger, worthlessness, regret, lack of willingness and sadness are all emotions that people feel when they are dealing with situations that are just too much to handle. The emotional cycle of depression is kind of like dealing with a death – actually it’s exactly like dealing with a death because when you are sad a little part of you dies.
Trying to figure it out
After a short stint of complete and total anger I fell into a deep sadness that had me questioning if my life was a life worth living. I withdrew from everything and everyone because I thought that being alone would help me avoid disappointment – when in fact all it made me was lonely.
I needed something to bring me out of my sadness and help me start seeing the good in life again. Binge eating to avoid my emotions was one way to deal with the pain, medication was the second option and excessive drinking to numb the pain was the third. But considering that I was physically attacked by my Dad’s raging alcoholic girlfriend, drinking didn’t seem like the best option.
Minimize your focus and take it one day at a time
I turned to exercise as a way to deal with my depression because it seemed like the healthiest way to rejoin the world but still keep to myself at the same time. I didn’t want to jump back into society but I knew that I had to get out of bed and start doing something.
Depression is just like any other disease, you have to hit rock bottom before you can get any better. If you are not feeling like yourself you may be experiencing a personal depression. Don’t try to pull yourself out of it too fast. Depression is a self-inflicted disease – and that’s OK. All it means that is that you know what made you get into depression, and only you can get yourself out of it.
Get help – it’s the best thing you will ever do
My advice is to deal with the issue that is making you sad, go through the emotions and then find something to bring you back to life. Focus on something you love. Give yourself something to look forward to and a goal to work towards. It will help regain focus and the success of achieving your goal – no matter what it is – will help you feel a sense of self worth.
When you feel like your life is once again worth living, you are getting back on track to overcoming your sadness.
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