That First Time Awkward Moment When…

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Dear Diary,

Picture This: You have the night off from work and so does your special someone.  You made plans to go out for dinner and so far the date is going perfectly.  After dinner he walks you to the door and you have an amazing kiss that you don’t want to end. so you invite him inside. But now what?

Whether it is your first time with your boyfriend, your fiancé or your husband I am sure that you definitely want it to be a special experience.  Unfortunately there can be so much pressure to make your moment special that it can end up being more awkward than everlasting.  Many girls expect their first time to be like fireworks but unfortunately sometimes high expectations only lead to big disappointments. It is definitely a big decision because you have to be confident and ready; keep in mind that your special moment doesn’t have to be serious, it’s supposed to be fun.

Sex and the City: Original Motion Picture Soun...Do you remember that scene from Sex and the City when Carrie spends her first night with her new boyfriend Berger? It was totally awkward. In true Carrie fashion she tries to spice it up for their second time with some sexy lingerie and some very cute shoes. However trying too hard to make your first time special can make the moment just as awkward as being unprepared.  You may not know when your first time will happen but you can try to be as prepared as possible to make it special.

Make sure that your moment is memorable with these two tips:

- Keep the Lights On. Not the real lights of course, but a little romantic candle light can really help set the mood.  Candles smell great (which is always a good thing) and they provide just enough light to see what you are doing but not too much light that you have to be self conscious.

- Smell Does Matter.  It may sound disgusting but it’s true. No one wants to spend time with someone who stinks. So ladies (and gentlemen) please shower, shave and put on some perfume. It is proven that men are attracted to sweet smells such as vanilla or fruit scents. Our good friends at Eden Fantasys have a variety of shower gels and fragrance mists that can help you smell your best for those up close and personal moments.

Love Always,

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How to Dress Like a Gentleman

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This post is dedicated to all of the male My Diary Entry readers who are wondering how to dress on their first date.  This post is also dedicated to all of the female My Diary Entry readers who really like a guy on their first date but wish that he dressed a little bit better.

How you dress for a first date makes the first impression, so you definitely want to dress like a gentleman.  The way you are dressed says a lot about your personality, so dress well on your first date to make a good first impression.  Don’t get me wrong a girl is not going to return your phone calls because of how you are dressed; but if she is making a pro and con list of reasons to call or not to call then the way you are dressed can be a helpful or a hurtful quality.

This should go without saying, but a gentleman should always be clean, showered, shaven and smell good on a first date because looks do matter to the opposite sex. If you have doubts about your first date outfit and the impression it makes, then get a girl’s advice.  Ask your mom, ask your sister, or ask your BGF (best girl friend).

The Dos and Don’ts of Dressing for a First Date:

DO: Dress comfortably. If you are uncomfortable then your date will be also uncomfortable. Being comfortable just means being yourself.  Dress to show off your personality and don’t worry about what you think she wants you to wear, you don’t know what she wants because you even know her yet. Wear your favourite shirt, not your lucky shirt.

DO: Wear layers, or at least have an extra jacket or sweater in the car.  If the date goes well it could keep going well into the night, you may need a jacket or a sweater if it gets chilly outside. First date rule number 1: It’s ok to put layers on during a first date, it’s definitely not ok to take them off.

DON’T: Bring a man purse.  Women don’t care that it’s actually called a satchel and that Indiana Jones carries one (a la Allan from The Hangover), it’s definitely a turn-off and it’s a really bad first impression.  No woman wants to date a man who carries more personal belongings than she does, it screams high maintenance.

DON’T: Flaunt your bling.  Unless you are looking for the type of woman who is only into material goods, leave the bling at home.  It’s ok for men to wear a maximum of two pieces of jewellery. It’s ok to wear a watch (but don’t keep checking the time) and a necklace/chain, but don’t overdo it with the jewellery.  Nothing is worse than a man who is wearing more jewellery than a woman on the first date.

Love Always,

This post was originally submitted as an audition to Leisurely Gentlemen

Photo by marc

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A Second Chance at Love

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This past weekend while I was in Denver Colorado for a conference my friend Tricia was getting married.  Do you remember my friend Tricia? We have been friends for over seven years and throughout that time we have definitely had some ups and downs in both our personal lives as well as in our friendship.Tricia and I have remained friends through heartaches, breakups, family drama, personal struggles, and career changes.  Tricia is my rock, she is a very independent person, she is very opinionated, and she has a very strong personality; but she never judges me for my choices or for my mistakes. That’s exactly why I love Tricia and that’s exactly why I know that we will always remain friends, because our friendship is unconditional.  Regardless of whatever chaos is going on in our personal lives Tricia and I always try to make time for each other.

Throughout the years of growing up and finding her place in the world Tricia has been very fortunate to graduate from university and find her dream job; however she has not always been very lucky in the love department.  Tricia always wanted to be in love, but she just never found her perfect match…until now. She is very independent but she is also very nurturing, this combination sometimes left her male companions curious and confused. How can a woman who wants to do everything herself also want to take care of someone else?

Tricia has worked very hard for everything that she has accomplished in her life; this also includes her new found love.  After dating men who were less than her perfect match Tricia definitely knows which qualities in a man will compliment her personality.  I am happy to say that at 33 years old my friend Tricia has finally found her perfect match. This is why I wish my friend Tricia and her new husband a lifetime of happiness together.

Last Saturday in front of their family and friends Tricia and her husband vowed to live happily ever after together through sickness and health, through richer or poorer, and until death do them part.  Tricia could have settled a long time ago for someone who was less than her perfect match, but she always knew that she deserved better.

If you are single and you feel like you are going to be single forever please don’t give up hope. Your perfect match, or your soul mate as Tricia says, is out there somewhere in the world, and you should never settle for anything less than perfect.

Love Always,

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My Cheat List

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My question to you is…what type of cheating is ok?

If you have ever been talking with your family, friends, or co-workers and one of them says “Oh yes he (or she) is on my list” they are referring to their cheat list.  A Cheat List is a list of up to 5 people with whom you can cheat on your boyfriend (or girlfriend) and they can’t get angry or break up with you.

The Cheat List is a free pass for you to live out your fantasies one time with someone who is not your boyfriend or girlfriend.  However, a Cheat List does not give you “carte blanche” to do whatever you want with whomever you want and use the Cheat List as an excuse.  You cannot cheat on your boyfriend or girlfriend up to five times and expect that all will be forgiven when you get home.

There are rules about who can be on a Cheat List first of all no one in your family, circle of friends, or office can be on your Cheat List.  Your neighbours can also not be on the Cheat List. Celebrities, movie stars, your favourite book authors, singers, and Hollywood elites can be on your Cheat List; but anyone who you know personally is absolutely restricted.  The Cheat List is a fantasy list about people who you would like to have relations with if you weren’t in a committed relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

If you and your boyfriend or girlfriend) don’t yet have a Cheat List then I suggest you make one.

It’s fun and it’s totally harmless.

This is my Cheat List:

- Jimmy Fallon (What? He’s Funny!)

- Justin Timberlake (He’s cute and he can dance, so you know what that means)

- Jay-Z (I love his swag and his business sense)

My Boyfriend’s Cheat List:

- Serena Williams (Surprising she has a more attitude than my boyfriend usually likes)

- Marion Cotillard (I can’t hate on her, she’s pretty and she’s a great actress)

- Beyonce Knowles (Ok no problem if Beyonce calls him I won’t be angry)

Who is on your Cheat List?

Love Always,

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Arranged Marriage: I Do or I Don’t?

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Yesterday Anderson Cooper discussed arranged marriages on his day time talk show and I was shocked to learn just how common arranged marriages are becoming in North America.

Although relatively new to the western world, arranged marriages are very common in India, Japan and the Middle East.  Anderson Cooper confirmed that the divorce rate among arranged marriages is only 5 to 7 per cent, whereas the national divorce rate in North America (both Canada and the U.S.) can be as high as 50 per cent.  The low divorce rate among arranged marriages may be due to the fact that divorce is still strictly forbidden in some cultures that encourage arranged marriage.

According to Wikipedia the definition of an arranged marriage is a marriage that is decided by someone’s parents, family members or their religious leader and the tradition dates back to royals and aristocrats all around the world.  It is important to note that not all arranged marriages are forced marriages.  In an arranged marriage the idea of marriage is not forced upon someone.  However, their future spouse is arranged by their loved ones on their behalf, and hopefully in their best interest.

The qualities when parents are choosing a spouse for an arranged marriage can include a person’s profession, their family’s status and reputation, their religion and cultural traditions, as well as their horoscope and numerology.

The customs of an arranged marriage vary between different cultures and geographic regions around the world.  An arranged marriage can be two people who are casually introduced by their parents and who are getting to know each other with the intent to get married, or it can be two people who never even meet in person until their actual wedding day.

I am not sure if I could commit to spending the rest of my life with someone who I have never met.  I mean let’s be honest, I have been dating my boyfriend for thirteen years and we are still not married; so the option of getting married to someone who I have never met is definitely out of the question.

Can your parents be trusted to arrange your marriage?

The Pros of an Arranged Marriage

- Your parents may know you best

- You don’t have to go through the hassle of dating

The Cons of an Arranged Marriage

- You may not like your spouse

- You may not want to spend the rest of your life with them

- It may be awkward to get to know someone when you are already married to and living with them

Love Always,

Photo by Jewels Globe

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Perfect Ideas for a Date Night

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Whether you are in a couple and need a time out from your normally hectic life or if you are single and looking for some casual date ideas, I have a few suggestions for your perfect date night. Couples often schedule a date night once a week in order to make time for each other, to be alone together, and to catch up on what’s happening in each other’s busy lives.  I recently watched two great movies and I also discovered a new restaurant (new to me) in Laval.

Go Out for Dinner Date Night

Univers in Laval is a “trendy” restaurant that serves pasta, sandwiches, burgers, and salads.  The menu at Univers does not have a variety of choices; but the food quality is good and the portions are large.  The actual prices are a little bit expensive, especially if you are ordering alcohol; but the meals are definitely worth the cost.  I ordered a plate of pasta with a diet coke and a side order of French Fries and my total bill was $21.

The atmosphere at Univers in Laval is almost like a night club with a menu.  The huge bar is lit up with pink neon wall lights, the wood furniture is very dark, and the music is very loud.  The service at Univers was very quick, efficient, and friendly; except for the hostess/bartender whose legs were way too thin to support her 95 pound body.  She didn’t speak English and she also didn’t really seem to grasp what was going on in the restaurant.  I guess you don’t have to be intelligent when you are that skinny, I mean pretty.

Go to The Movies Date Night

Last night I saw the movie “This Means War” starring Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, British actor Tom Hardy, and comedian Chelsea Handler.  This was absolutely a hilarious movie with an intelligent storyline and an unpredictable ending.  Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are two CIA agents who fall in love with the same girl aka Reese Witherspoon.  There is a little plot twist at the end of the movie, and all I am going to say is…she doesn’t end up with the man you think she will.

This Means War is a fun romantic comedy (but not too girly) movie.  Watching romantic comedy movies is a good idea on a date night because it lets you determine if your date has an outgoing personality and a sense of humour. Watching romantic comedy movies also reveals our date’s opinions on relationships and commitment.  This Means War is a must see movie if you want to go to the movies for your date night.

Stay in and Watch a Movie Date Night

Dream House is a suspense movie starring Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, and Naomi Watts.  At first I rented this DVD because I felt like watching a horror movie. However, it turns out that the movie Dream House is actually a psychological thriller.

The plot of the movie Dream House is definitely not typical.  There is a major discovery in the middle of the movie that completely changes the storyline, and the story (aka the why and how) really all comes together at the end.

Dream House is a great date night movie if you want to stay in and cuddle with your date on the couch.  Turn out the lights, pop some popcorn, light some candles and get cozy with your date while watching Dream House.

Happy Date Night Everyone.

Love Always,


This Post is Dedicated to Everyone Who is Not (Yet) Married

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Good Morning Everyone. I am dedicating this post to all of the hopeful singles out there who are in a relationship and who are hoping to someday get a ring.  This post is also dedicated to the hopeful singles out there who are still looking for their Mr. Right or (Mrs. Right).  I know that a lot of girls dream to be in a long term relationship, but let me tell you that the grass is not always greener.

I recently wrote a post on Dinks Finance titled “Should I Give My Boyfriend a Marriage Ultimatum?”  I love my boyfriend very much but for some time now we have been in a crossroad in our relationship and we are getting to the age when we have to decide to accept each other or make a decision to go our separate ways.  I am 31 years old, we have been together for 12 years, and we are still unmarried.  Marriage is not an option with my boyfriend.  I am not sure if I absolutely want to get married; but I think that I would at least like to have the option.

I hope you read my post about Marriage Ultimatums.  The thing that really interests me about this particular post is the comments that readers are leaving and the stories that they are sharing.  It is sort of comforting to know that so many other people have been in my current situation. It is also kind of interesting to see that so many people have so many different opinions on relationships, how they should be, and what qualities make a perfect relationship. It’s great to have a relationship that is full of love, trust, and commitment, but at the end of the day if we don’t share the same goals and if we don’t want the same things out of life is the relationship really worth it?

If I were to start over again in a new relationship I would definitely do some things differently.  I would definitely want to know up front how my future boyfriend feels about marriage, children, travel, and relocation; then I can decide if he has the potential to be a future husband.

What criteria are you looking for in a future husband or wife?

Love Always,

Photo by Peter Bellis


Would You/Should You Give Back the Engagement Ring?

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This is a post that I “borrowed” from DINKS Finance because it has the online world buzzing with the question “Should You Give Back The Ring?”  Readers are leaving comments on Blogs, Facebook Pages, and Twitter with their opinions about giving back an Engagement Ring when a couple decides not to get married.

Some people feel that an Engagement Ring is a gift, and therefore they don’t feel the need to give it back if the Engagement is broken off.  However some other people feel that an Engagement Ring is a promise to get married, and therefore they feel that if the Wedding Bells don’t ring women should be obligated to give back the Engagement Ring.

What do you think? Is the choice to give back the Engagement Ring a financial decision or a personal obligation?  Click Here to read the entire article on DINKS Finance.

Love Always,

Kristina

Photo by Liz Marie


Can We Fall in Love With Someone We Never Met?

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Good Morning Everyone.  Today I feel the need to discuss a topic that keeps popping up in my life…the world of online dating.  I have to admit that I have never tried online dating, but I absolutely understand the appeal to fall in love with someone (or the personality of someone) whom we have never met.

One of my favourite movies is “You’ve Got Mail” starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.  It tells the story of two adults living in New York City who are currently in relationships, and they start communicating with each other online through AOL email.  I am not even 100% convinced that people can be in a relationship online, but I do believe that two people can have an online relationship.  I believe that people can connect with each other online, but I am not sure that it’s a relationship. Eventually Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks leave their current relationships and meet each other in person.  By the time they meet up in real life they have already fallen in love with each other’s online persona.   Their in person meeting just confirms the already existing attraction that they have developed online.

I love this movie because Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are such a cute couple together and I also love this movie because it takes place in New York City.  But mostly I love the movie You’ve Got Mail because it’s about falling in love. Every single time I watch this movie (which is very often) I feel happy and I get butterflies in my stomach, I absolutely love the idea of falling in love.  There is a point in the movie You’ve Got Mail when Meg Ryan is breaking up with her current boyfriend and he asks her “Is there someone else?” Meg Ryan responds “No. But there is the idea of someone else”.

I think that this one sentence sums up the reason why people connect so well with each other online…because they are whoever we want them to be.  We are not falling in love with a person, we are falling in love with a personality…an online personality.  There is something comforting about the idea of imagining our perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s reassuring to know that the perfect person for us is actually out there somewhere in the world thinking about us too. Our online relationships can bring us happiness about everything that we are unhappy with in our current relationship.  Everything that we don’t like about our current boyfriend or girlfriend just disappears with the click of a key and the arrival of an email into our inbox.

If I decided to start an online relationship I wonder what my dating profile would look like, what would I say about myself?  “I am a 31 year old girl looking to fall in love and live happily ever after (preferably in New York City) with her Mr. Right. Smokers Need Not Apply.” I am not asking for a lot of unreasonable qualities. I just want to be in a relationship where I am considered and appreciated. I don’t want a boyfriend who worships the ground I walk on, I just want a boyfriend who considers me in his choices and appreciates me and our relationship. I don’t want an immature boyfriend, but I do want a boyfriend that I can have childish fun with…is that too much to ask?

Of course people have their personal reservations about meeting a potential girlfriend or boyfriend online because we can never really know (or trust) someone whom we have never met.  There is always the fear that the person whom we are falling in love with could turn out to be a total psycho…or worse, they could turn out to be 17 years old. That would definitely be heartbreaking because even though we have never met the person we are already emotionally invested into our online relationship. The great thing about starting a relationship online is that it is based purely on raw emotions, there is no materialistic or superficial stuff involved.

If we fall in love with an online personality and we start to plan our future lives with someone whom we have never even met does that make us crazy, desperate, or just optimistic?


Fairytales Do Come True!

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Dear Diary,

Do you remember my friend Gabriella? She recently got engaged to her Prince Charming and she is finally on her way to living happily ever after. Gabriella is a really great person and she deserves all of the happiness in the world.  Gabriella is my age and she has always been a great friend to me, even though I haven’t always deserved her kindness.  Gabriella had the courage to follow her heart and fortunately it led her right into the arms of a great man with whom she is going to spend the rest of her life.

Gabriella and her Prince Charming have been dating for just over a year, but they have known each other for many years; actually they have been friends for many many years. Her story is truly a fairly tale and this is exactly how relationships should be.  Relationships should be full of love, caring, compassion, and commitment.  In an ideal relationship two people will meet as adults, they will date for a few years, they will fall in love, and then they will eventually get married.

The benefit of meeting our special someone when we are older is that we have already grown into the person that we are going to be.  When we are younger we are still maturing and there is still so much growing that we have to do personally, emotionally, intelligently, and mentally. I don’t think that my boyfriend sees me as the woman I have become. I think that my boyfriend still sees me as the young girl who I used to be.

My boyfriend and I met when we were younger and we grew up together into adults.  We couldn’t get married after dating for a few years because we were still very young; our parents would have had a heart attack if we got married at 21 years old.  Although now our parents aren’t too happy that we still aren’t married after twelve years of being in a relationship together.

My relationship mistake was that I already give my boyfriend everything and we already live together so now (in his opinion) he has no reason to marry me.  My boyfriend doesn’t see the point in getting married now (that we are at the marrying age) because it won’t change anything in our relationship.  If I had to do it all over again would I change anything? Absolutely!

If ever something happens and my relationship comes to an end I will never live with someone else out of wedlock.  If my next boyfriend wants to spend more time with me and if he wants to live with me, then he will have to marry me first.  Not give me a ring, and not get engaged…actually get married.

Love Always.

Photo by Eccentric Scholar