It’s been five years since you were suddenly taken out of my life and every time I think about you it’s like my heart breaks all over again. I will never forget the mass of emotions that ran through my body and mind when I received a phone call from your Mom telling me that you were no longer with us. I know that you are in a better place and I know that the horrible disease left you in pain, but for completely selfish reasons I wish that you were still here.
Gone way too soon
After only seven years of friendship I was not ready to say good bye. When our time together was coming to an end I wish that I could have said farewell in person. I will never forgive myself for not visiting you in the hospital a day sooner because if I did we would have had the chance to say our good byes in person.
I pulled up to the funeral home not knowing what to expect from the service, not knowing what to say to your parents and not knowing how I would feel about seeing you. I walked in to a room full of flowers and it was very nice to see all of your family and meet your parents for the first time. I was happy to see you without a hospital gown because it was as if you were no longer sick, but then I realized that this was the very last time that I would ever see you.
Our last day together
There was something very comforting about seeing you lay peacefully at rest and I immediately starting talking to you and updating you on my life as if we were having our routine French toast at Sunday brunch. I left you a letter apologizing for my absence during your illness and I reassured you that I will never forget you.
Kevin, you were a really good friend to me. It’s so weird because I didn’t tell you this when you were here and now that you are gone I can’t tell you enough. I just want you to know I think about you all the time and five years later your name still brings tears to my eyes. I can only hope that you are happy and that you are making friends in your next life, I just hope that you don’t forget the lifelong friends that you made while you were here.
I miss you.
Photo by mcsanc